Until I met my wife, the longest relationship I was willing to endure was 8 months. If you were to ask her, she would say I was a nice guy.If you were to ask the dozens that preceded her, many of them might not agree! I tried to be a better man than the other men in her past. I slowly began to see how my “Nice Guy” behavior was not only not getting me what I wanted in my relationship, it was actually doing great damage. Glover had followed me around for 30 years documenting my life story. In spite of everything I did for her, it never seemed enough. She was frequently moody and would lash out at me, seemingly without provocation. I avoided conflict and withheld any information – including my feelings and wants – that I thought might rock the boat or start a fight. When it became apparent that our relationship wasn’t working well for either of us, I decided (actually, she gave me an ultimatum, “Go to counseling or I’m leaving.”) to join a men’s group and get some counseling.I like when some guy who pretends like a phoney to impress a girl, gets angry when his transparent act fails and he gets mad and says women don't like nice guys.
IMO genuine 'nice guys' aren't necessarily beta, they are just very easy going, always laughing/smiling, optimistic etc. And being nice is different than being a flatterer imo. Those who do it because they believe in kind acts, and those who do it to make people like them.
Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world.
There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of.
They patiently waited, hoping the women they desired would quit lamenting over “jerks” and wake up to see what great men they were. I have had the privilege of being part of the recovery process with thousands of Nice Guys. I’ve watched single guys find the love they desired. Your book helped me jump into the manager position.
Only to hear something like, “You’re such a great guy. I’ve seen men live up to their potential in their work and careers. I can’t say enough about how you have opened my eyes to how unconscious I have been.”"Dr.